


after which, hilarity ensues

by Dandybear



Series: Bi-weekly Prompts Series [2]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Biweekly Prompt Challenge, F/F, It came out kinda Coffee Shop AU as well, It's not a space mall it's just a regular mall, Odo is a Mall Cop and this is canon anyway, They Work In A Mall AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-29 03:46:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20075605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dandybear/pseuds/Dandybear
Summary: Kira's just an average capitalism hating millennial peddling coffee in a shopping mall for minimum wage (plus tips), when she's not fantasizing about dumping coffee on the creepy dudes who keep hitting on her, she's getting into wacky hijinks with the hot girl from SportChek.





	after which, hilarity ensues

**Author's Note:**

> This is another fic for the biweekly prompt challenge at the KiraDax discord. It exists because Mall Cop Odo could not be silenced from my mind. Written with experience of both being a coffee shop barista and having a fascination with malls.
> 
> The word limit is supposed to be 2k, but I came in over and editing takes brain juice I just don't have these days. FORGIVE ME.
> 
> Spot the Captain Boday cameo.

"And then he had the nerve to say to me,  _ ‘Go away, Odo, you're not a real cop _ ,’" he says. 

Kira’s smile is stuck on her face while she waits for him to finish talking. It’s eleven thirty, and she’s thankful, because that means that the lunch rush will be occupying her. But, that’s still another four hours on her shift. Then it's the sweet release of freedom for roughly eighteen hours, minus time for commute, chores, and sleep, then she'll be right back at this hellish little kiosk. 

"But, you're not a real cop?" Julian wanders in with his apron, face stretched at odd angles, playing dumb for the source of Odo’s ire. 

Odo harrumphs and takes his large maple kombucha smoothie to go. He leaves his change in the tip jar, just like always, and just like always, he says, "It's perfect, thank you, Nerys."

She nods, smile not quite reaching her eyes.

"He likes you," Julian says. 

Kira sighs, the kind of deep sigh that feels like she’s deflating herself.

“What is it with older men thinking that because I can make them a drink I’m somehow interested?” she grumbles, because it’s not just Odo.

“At least your admirers tip, I just get batted lashes and Grindr matches,” Julian says.

"Speaking of, did you go on another date with that shady guy who manages the GAP?"

"It was not a date, me and Mr. Garak just have the same taste in wine and film. 

"I thought you said he talked all the way through that spy movie you two saw?" she pushes past him to clean the crumbs around the pastry case. 

Julian scoffs, “Debate is part of what makes the movie enjoyable!”

“Just not to other viewers,” Miles announces with his arrival.

“Hey Miles, what can I get you?” Kira asks.

“Large coffee and one of those wraps, forgot to grab lunch this morning,” he says.

“You forget lunch every morning,” Julian says, starting on his coffee.

“What’s on the repair list today?” Kira makes conversation while ringing him up.

“Southwest escalator’s busted again, damn kids won’t stop sledding on it. One of these days they’re gonna get themselves seriously hurt. Or, I’ll kick their asses. Whichever comes first.”

“Odo was just in here complaining about that,” Kira says.

“Something about teenagers refusing to respect his authority,” Julian chimes in, sliding over the coffee, “Put a little bit of foam on it, free of charge,” he winks.

Miles winks back, “Thanks, Babe. Have a good one, Kira,” and takes the pastry bag, off to eat while he works.

Then there’s a telltale squeak of expensive sneakers that has Kira’s heart jump in her chest. Because, there she is, a glorious specimen in a striped referee shirt and joggers, all long limbs and high ponytail.

Jadzia Dax, who is selling athletics and shoes while working her way through her Doctorate.

“Hi,” her voice is soft, kind of husky, as she leans forward, tucking her hair behind her ears.

Julian turns equally dumb next to her, and Kira tries to elbow him with as little movement as possible.

“Hi Jadzia,” Kira says.

That gets her a big smile, “What’s good today?”

“Y-you are… right to ask that. Uh, the soup is edible, do you want your drink?” Kira fidgets with her hair.

“Please!” Jadzia says dramatically, “Benjamin’s son got in trouble, so he has been cracking the whip all day.”

“That’s too bad,” Julian says.

Kira’s brain short circuited on the word whip. Julian nudges her out of the way to take the register, pushing her towards the bar because Jadzia insists only Kira can get her drink right. Plus, it gives them time to talk.

Jadzia's drink order is like a mashup of several people's favourite drinks. Matcha. Espresso. Protein powder. Vanilla bean. Almond milk. All blended together in a towering caffeinated cup that Jadzia swears by. 

"What's the latest you've ever stayed here?" Jadzia asks, missing the straw with her lips twice. 

Kira squints at the question, "When I first started here I was the closer. So, I guess nine? Nine fifteen if you count closing time? Why?"

Jadzia leans forward, "Did you ever see the night shift security guy? I was at a movie with this guy last night, and I spotted him putting Odo's Segway away."

Kira feels like her chest has been dunked in ice water because  _ Jadzia was on a movie date last night _ . What followed that is just buzzing in her ears. 

"I gotta… there's a lunch rush," Kira says, still feeling like she's been punched in the stomach. 

"Wait, Nerys," Jadzia grabs her hand, "You're off at 4, right?"

"Yeah."

"I'm off at 5:30, do you mind waiting around for me? There's something I want to show you."

And, it's Jadzia, so she tucks her chin and bats those insanely blue eyes, and any protest dies on Kira's lips. 

"Okay."

(Jadzia's asking her out to do something. She didn't mention the guy. (Maybe it's nothing serious. Maybe this isn't even a date.)) 

"Great, it's a date!" Jadzia bounces in place, "I gotta go. See you tonight."

Kira stares at the spot dumbly before Julian clears his throat loudly enough to remind her of the forming line. 

So, she returns to the register and smiles her way through Dukat's order even though she wants to splash hot coffee in his face. 

* * *

It turns out that an extra hour and a half at her job is more draining that anticipated. She's tired, she's sweaty, she smells like coffee, and she wants to go home and shower. Especially if this is a date-date and not just girl time. Julian flaps a hand in farewell, sugary drink in one hand as he leaves. Kira groans and goes back to the copy of  _ The Hunger Games _ that she's been flipping through. 

Jadzia's arrival is the same, just the slightest squeak of expensive sneakers, then she's there, looking better than any adult woman dressed like a teenage boy has any right to. 

"Hope I didn't make you wait too long," she says, "You know how end of shift is, try to leave and suddenly it's _ flight of the sneakerheads _ ," she laughs at her own joke. Seeing Kira's blank stare, Jadzia switches tactics, "Here, we have some time before, let me take you to dinner."

Which leads them to the phò place on the other side of the mall--that isn't technically part of the mall, but is still attached. It's almost like freedom. 

"I'm so tired of the American Dream, Jadzia, let's just turn all the malls into communal housing for low income people and go back to local businesses," Kira groans between mouthfuls of noodles. 

"You know the first malls were invented in Rome," Jadzia says, "Maybe it's the genetic destiny of our species."

"Don't say that! Tell me we’re destined for something other than mindless consumption." 

“Relax, Rousseau. I only mindlessly consume three things,” Jadzia holds up three fingers, ticking them down as she speaks, “These noodles, and two other things,” then she licks her lips and looks down. Just in case Kira didn’t see that coming.

Kira changes subjects, "So what did you want to show me?"

Jadzia grins, always alive with mischief. 

"There's a lot I want to show you, Nerys, but tonight I still want to keep a surprise," the flat of her nail skims Kira's exposed shoulder. Kira tries not to shudder, but her back is a weak point. She's jelly, she'd follow Jadzia into hell, if she'd just touch her like that again. 

And, they're staring at each other's lips. Kira chickens out, stealing a bite of Jadzia's spring roll. 

Jadzia gasps, faking offense, and Kira smirks. 

"You said you didn't want one," Jadzia says. 

"I didn't, but I want a bite of yours," Kira says. 

"Oh, I see. So you're one of those 'I don't want popcorn, but if you get a bag I'll steal most of it,’ types?" Jadzia says. 

"You'll have to find out," Kira says, enjoying the easy charged energy of the banter. Keep it light, keep the tension stretching like a violin string. 

They linger in the noodle shop just a bit too long, caught up in their conversation, so when they stand it’s with numbed butts and sore legs.

“Okay, I think the time should be right,” Jadzia says.

Kira pauses, “I’m not going to regret this, am I?”

Jadzia grabs her hand and swings their arms together, “Nerys, I can’t guarantee you won’t regret it, but I can guarantee that you will have fun.”

Jadzia leads her back into the mall, past her own work, to the book store that’s currently under construction.

“I thought they closed this off,” Kira says.

“Yeah, but nobody comes up here because it’s all under construction, except for that one Chinese food place that only takes cash.”

“That place is amazing,” Kira doesn’t know why she’s whispering.

Jadzia leads her past piles of equipment, up to a palette covered in a tarp. She lifts it with a, “Ta-daaa!”

There, in all its glory, sits a sled.

“No,” Kira says slowly.

Jadzia beams at her, “Nerys, would you do me in the honour of joining my sled gang?”

“I can’t do that to Miles, he literally just fixed it!” Kira whisper-yells.

“Kira, he’s a repairman, breaking things keeps him employed. Besides, it’s just one sled ride, I’m sure it won’t break the escalator.”

Kira sighs, looking at the sled with some trepidation.

“Are you sure we aren’t going to break our asses?” she says.

Jadzia holds out a hand, “I will pinkie promise to sit on the bottom so that the only ass that gets broken is mine.”

Kira looks at the pinkie extended, then matches it with her own, linking them, “You have to seal it,” she says.

“Seal it?” Jadzia asks, confused.

“Like this,” Kira bounces up to her toes to press a kiss to Jadzia’s lips. Nerves bleed through her kiss, her anxiety bleeding away into desire as Jadzia catches her hip with her spare hand and deepens the kiss.

“I was going to apologize for flirting with you while you’re at work because you’re at your job and I know you have to be nice, so I didn’t want to take advantage,” Jadzia pulls away to say.

Kira shakes her head in disbelief and drags Jadzia down for another kiss.

Some light making out does convince Kira to accept Jadzia’s Incredibly Stupid Idea.

“So, this is what Sisko’s son got in trouble for?” Kira says, looking down at the biggest escalator in the mall.

“Yup, he said that the trick is to keep the sled down with your feet so you don’t bail.”

“And, it’s safe with two people?” Kira asks.

Jadzia grins, “Well, barring reincarnation--which I’m not in any way ruling out, you only live once, right?”

“Hey!” a baritone male voice comes from behind them.

“Sled gang?” Jadzia asks.

Kira looks behind her, it’s the night shift security guard, sprinting towards them at an alarming clip.

She nods at Jadzia, “Sled gang.”

She tucks herself against Jadzia’s front, holding the rope to the sled while Jadzia anchors them by wrapping her arms around Kira’s waist. The sled thuds down the steps, and no, it is not pleasant. But, the rush of adrenaline numbs the pain that will no doubt follow her tomorrow.

Skid-thud, skid-thud, then they’re at the bottom and flopping against white tile. Jadzia whoops and laughs.

Boots come down the steps and pause just before the bottom. The security guard steps off with a delicate grace and looks down at them from under his sculpted eyebrows.

"If you can outrun me, I won't call this in," he says with a sigh. 

“Will you give us a head start, Officer?” Jadzia flirts.

“I’m not a cop,” he says.

And, he lets them get away, Kira knows because he could outpace them easily, but puts on a good show of chasing them off. She makes a mental note to bring him one of those green smoothies he likes the next time their shifts overlap.

But, for now, she’s sweaty and waiting for the bus with Jadzia on the edge of the parking lot.

“So, wanna see a movie?” Jadzia asks.

“Yeah, sure,” Kira says, because this is still one of the best dates she’s been on.

“Great,” Jadzia pants.

And, they do go to see a movie. And, yes, Kira hogs the popcorn Jadzia bought. And, yes, Julian’s annoying boyfriend complains through the whole movie. But, they don’t really notice after the first fifteen minutes.

**Author's Note:**

> I had to physically fight the urge to name this fic after the Dan the Meme Man video, "Eat ass, smoke grass, and sled fast."
> 
> okay, hope you had fun. girls are pretty. love you.


End file.
